Someofmyreadersmayimaginethatmyyoungmanwasasickly, ecstatic, poorlydevelopedcreature, apale, , Alyoshawasatthistimeawell-grown, red-cheeked, clear-eyedladofnineteen, , too, graceful, moderatelytall, withhairofadarkbrown, witharegular, ratherlong, oval-shapedface, andwide-setdarkgray, shiningeyes; hewasverythoughtful, , perhaps, thatredcheeksarenotincompatiblewithfanaticismandmysticism; ! nodoubt, inthemonasteryhefullybelievedinmiracles, but, tomythinking, , ifheisanunbeliever, willalwaysfindstrengthandabilitytodisbelieveinthemiraculous, , , intherealist, , , butwhenhedidseehesaid, "MyLordandmyGod!" Wasitthemiracleforcedhimtobelieve? Mostlikelynot, buthebelievedsolelybecausehedesiredtobelieveandpossiblyhefullybelievedinhissecretheartevenwhenhesaid, "IdonotbelievetillIsee."