ToLoveaStranger

桑德·史密斯 / SandeSmith

Aparentsinceshewasfifteen， .

， shesitsinanursinghome， tappingherfingersonherchairinasyncopatedrhythmthatremindsmeofbebop， talkingtoherselfaboutherfather， whodiedwhenshewaseight.

“Mildred...Mildred.” Isay.

Shelooksupatme， hereyesbrighten， andhersmilerevealssnaggleslikethoseofafive-year-old.“Comehere， babydoll， ”shesays.

Irushovertoher， pullcloseachair， andsitdown.

“Hey， Mildred， howareyou？” Idon’’tanswertoMommy.

MymotherwasdiagnosedwithAlzheimer’sin1984， ， ， whenIwouldcallhome， shewouldbeupsetbecauseshe’dlosthermoney.“Mommyneverloseshermoney.” I’dthink.

， diet， andmedicine， andthroughtheadditionofChineseherbs， mymother’， despiteprofoundphysicalimprovement， theAlzheimer’scontinuedtounravelhermindoverthenextsixyears.

Ilivedwithmymotherfrom1984to1990， ’—， she’dwalkincirclesaroundhischair， ， she’， shewouldrundownthestreet， ’dcometobelievethatshewasapoliceofficer—.

Thisisnotmymother， ；， ， silverware， dishes， ， she’， notshe， hadmovedthesethings.

“Comehere，” she’dsayforcefully， grabbingmyhandandpullingmeintoherroom.“？ Theytookit.”

Tolearnmoreaboutthedisease， mysisterandIattendedgroupsforfamiliesofAlzheimer’’swastalking， nother.

Asthediseaseprogressed， ’dsay， “What’shappeningtome？ Whycan’tIremember？”

BeforeAlzheimer’s， ， shebecamestrangelyfreewithheremotions， cryingwhenfrightened， expressingangerwhenfurious， ， webothbecamecalmer.

， I’dturnonTinaTurnerorJanetJackson， andwewoulddanceanddance.I’dplayherfavoritesongsonthepiano， andshe’dplaceherhandontopoftheolduprightandsingeachnoteandeverywordperfectly.